Miami Dolphins vs. Tennessee Titans Preview

I hate the Dolphins. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I keep on replying to their stupid text.

 

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I had a post earlier about why The Dolphins Are Like Your Ex-Girlfriend

 

Marcus Mariota may be out. As of 6:15 on October 5, 2017, there has been no indication as to whether he’s playing or not. However, they did sign Brandon Weeden, who is 1) at least 250 years old and 2) a really bad quarterback, which is great news for Dolphins fans. Our defense has been outstanding, and I expect them to be even better if Mariota does not play.

 

Our defense isn’t the problem. Our problem is that we’ve scored six points in the last eight quarters and we are DEAD LAST in yards per play on offense. We’re sitting at an abysmal 4.3 yards per PLAY. I would say that isn’t the worst stat in the world if our first three games were against Denver, Seattle, and Kansas City.

 

But we didn’t play any of those guys. We played three bad defenses, which in turn means we fucking suck at moving footballs and scoring points. Do you know what it is that our kicker has not had to kick a FG in the last two games? I would do unforgivable things to be the Dolphins kicker right now. Easiest check in sports. You won the damn letter, Cody Parkey. Congrats.

 

I think our problem starts and ends with our O-line. Tunsil and James haven’t been all that bad, but Tunsil does look a little lethargic at times. Maybe he’s a little groggy from consuming herbal products through certain air filtration masks, but I’m not a man who starts rumors. I’m just a lowly sports blogger.

 

Mike Pouncey’s no hip haven’ ass and the rest of our interior lineman have been flat out bad, which is why I’m not TOTALLY ready to throw in the towel on Smokin’ Jay just yet, though he’s been bad too.

 

I think the tides change this week. I honestly believe that the Dolphins aren’t going to rip our beating hearts from our chest on Sunday.

 

The truth is that if we can stop the run, were going to win the game. The Titans have only been good on offense when Henry and Murray put the team on their backs, and obviously in turn opening up the play action and the passing game. Outside of Delanie Walker,  there are no elite receivers on that roster. I think our secondary is more than capable of shutting them down. We’re going to see our D-Line get really excited to finally be at home, and Davon Godcheaux and Charles Harris will have their breakout games.

 

I have no reason other than blind fanhood to believe this, but I think my spirit animal Jay Cutler is going to have a big game. Something in the neighborhood of 350 yards and 3 TD’s.

 

I’ll be at the Rock this Sunday drinking heavily in either celebration or despair. I’m feeling bold tonight though.

 

I WILL BET MY LIFE ON THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT:

 

The Miami Dolphins win by two touchdowns.

 

Miami Dolphins 31

Tennessee Titans 17

 

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